7 things you believe about clothes that are completely wrong

Helping women define their style and detox their closets, I've heard it all.

I need to lose weight first.

I could never wear that.

I have to cover my arms.

Let's look at the seven most common things you believe about your clothes—and why they are completely wrong.

"That looks great on her but I could never pull it off."

If I had a dollar for the number of times I've heard this, I could buy you a new wardrobe.

There are two things wrong with this statement. First, you're automatically putting yourself down. My No. 1 "fight" with my style coaching clients is that they always revert to the negative. Hey, it's only nature. Really! Our "lizard brain" focuses on the negative in order to keep us safe. But we have to beat that fight or flight part of our brain if we want to produce positive results in our lives.

Secondly, who says you should want to "pull that off"? Listen, friend. The reason I am so adamant about learning what works with your colors (hello, free eBook sample below) and shape is that what flatters someone else isn't necessarily meant to flatter you.

And vice versa! Did it ever occur to you that what looks great on you might not look the best on her? (You know I am super serious because of the overabundance of italics.)

The next time you find yourself saying this, ask yourself if it's because of your negative self-talk or because that outfit simply isn't the absolute best option for your wonderful self. 

"I need to lose 20 pounds before I can wear that."

Let me stop you right there, sister. Gosh, do I know how.stinking.hard. this topic is. I know you feel undeserving and less than if you've ever said this before. And I know it takes a lot more reflection than I can offer you right here to change this mindset.

But, hear me: Punishing yourself will not encourage you.

Waiting to dress the body you want instead of the body you have will not save you money.

Hanging onto clothes that don't fit and looking at them every day will not motivate you. In fact, I can promise that it will make you feel worse.

You don't have to love the body you're in right now, but you do need to dress it like you do. Because if you feel good, you will start to see the change you seek.

"I need to cover my fill-in-the-blank-body-part."

Alright. Most of us have something we want to hide. Whether it's our arms or our stomach or what have you. I'm not going to tell you that if you hate showing your arms you should go out and buy all sleeveless tops.

No, this one is about mindset. Instead of "I want to cover XYZ" I need you to reframe this to "I want to accentuate ABC."

Here's what I mean.

If you find yourself wearing long or oversized tops in an effort to hide your tummy, I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you but you are actually making yourself look larger than you are. More fabric = more you.

Here's how we flip it.

Instead of "I want to cover my tummy" we reframe it to "I want to accentuate my waist." (And in so doing, you will cover your tummy.)

How can you reframe the way you talk about your body?

"If it doesn't fit off the rack there's something wrong with my body."

This whole notion that clothing should fit right off the rack is actually quite new. Just a few decades ago, women were still taking home every purchase and altering it for the perfect fit.

Why do we buy into this idea that mass-produced clothing should just drape perfectly? And if it doesn't we must be misshapen? Girlfriend, as soon as you let go of the idea that pretty much anything will fit perfectly without some sort of modification the happier you will be.

"I should never spend more than $X on an article of clothing."

The wrongness of this idea has three parts.

First, it can be a reflection of how we see ourselves. I totally understand sticking to a budget (#billsbillsbills), but if this mindset is coming from a place of scarcity and lack of self-worth, I want you to do some reflection.

Second, this is not a quality-over-quantity mentality. (See: cost per wear). While you might spend more on quality pieces upfront, you'll get that much more mileage out of them.

Third, it reflects what we have been taught. Retail prices have gotten so stinking low that we honestly believe we're being ripped off if an article of clothing costs more than we think it should. The truth is when we pay next to nothing for a shirt, someone is paying for it, it just isn't us (it's probably a factory worker who receives next to nothing for their labor).

This isn't to say that everything with a high price tag is worth the money. But, the next time you scoff at a price tag, consider what it actually took to make that piece. (A great resource on this is the book Overdressed.)

"I'm irresponsible for buying clothes I don't wear."

Look, friend. We're all just trying to figure this thing out the best we can. You can gosh darn bet we all have things hanging in our closets that we've never worn.

But we can wallow in being poor stewards of our money or we can start fresh. I challenge you to detox all those things you don't wear and then reinvest in pieces that you love. If you need help figuring out what the heck it even is that you love, I made a worksheet to help you define your style.

"I can't get rid of that; what if I need it later?"

I promise that if you detox something, you won't miss it. I know that's hard to believe when you're staring down the barrel of a Goodwill drop off, but it's true.

You won't be looking in your closet one day like, "Oh where is that terrible sweater that I hadn't worn in two years? Really wish I had that right about now."

Puh-lease.

If you detox your closet, you'll feel so good you'll never look back.